The Lost Ones
by mssdare
Summary: Do you ever wonder what happened to your high school friends and sweethearts? Do you ever think about the ones who were lost on the way and wonder if any of the things you did could have saved them? This is a story for those who cared. Entry for S/BS 3.0


**Entry for SLASH BACKSLASH 3.0 CONTEST**

**Title: The Lost Ones**  
><strong>Author: Miss Dare<strong>  
><strong>Pairing: EdwardJasper**

**Rated M.** Warning for: mature content, underage drinking & drug use, and sex scenes - both slash and het. If you don't like reading about boy/boy relationships this is not a story for you.

The characters of Edward, Jasper, Bella and others belong to S. Meyer. Other than that the story is mine.

**Please see all the Slash/\Backslash 3.0 entries on:** **www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Slash_Backslash_3_0/ 74941/99/0/1/**

****Word Count: 6,910 (acc. to FF)****

**A/N**

Many thanks to **EdwardAddiction** (Addicted to Edward Cullen) for doing an enormous beta work for this and to **SavageGrace** for the last checkup.

This is my first slash ever, and second piece of fiction ever so… you know what ;)

Also – English is not my first language, I only learned it in school and reading fics, so I may sound strange and there may be some mistakes, sorry for that.

* * *

><p><strong>The Lost Ones<strong>

_Do you ever wonder what happened to your high school friends and sweethearts? Do you ever think about the ones who were lost on the way and wonder if any of the things you did could have saved them? This is a story for those who cared._

"***"

I was eating my lunch in the clinic's cafeteria when I spotted him in the line by the counter. For that one moment I was sure it was him, and my heart skipped a beat. Same shoulder length wavy blond hair, same height, same lean body. But then he turned around and I realized it wasn't him after all. The man ordered his coffee and went to the table with other visiting doctors while I just sat there, trying to forget my Jasper once again. But no matter what I did – talked with patients and coworkers, got groceries on my way home, greeted my wife with a kiss, sang with her while we were making our late dinner - I couldn't erase his memory from my head. That night I sat at my desk at home and tried to Google him. I hoped he would show up in one of the social sites but no such luck.

"***"

I used to be quite a loner; I didn't really relate to the other kids at school, opting for reading on my breaks and watching tons of movies in my free time instead. I went out a few times with the guys from my classes, but I found their chatting about sports and boobs bored me to death. Finally I kind of hit it off with one girl from junior year who joined our school a little bit late, after she had moved to our town. Bella was just as much a bookworm as I was. We exchanged books and talked a little about music, films and our favorite directors. We even went to the movies once or twice together, although I really preferred watching the movies alone.

But then I met Jasper. He was my lab partner in Biology. He was shy and quiet, his hands shaking whenever he had to pass me a flask or a piece of glass to put under the microscope. I found him "adorable". With his dimpled smile, eyes blue as the color children use for painting sky and angel-like hair he could practically be on sale instead of greeting cards with kittens on it.

First time I smelled alcohol from him, while we seated in class listening to some lecture about cells, I was really shocked. Not because it was so impossible for the underaged to get liquor, but I was stunned he had the nerve to show up in school in such state. Why hadn't he just ditched? I kept my questions to myself though, not wanting to pry. I could see he was in no frame of mind to finish his assignment, so I just did it for him.

"Thank you," he said gently, blushing and licking his lips in a way that made my breath hitch.

I observed his fingers with their bitten nails as he brushed his slightly too long hair away from his face.

"Don't mention it." I smiled back.

He held my gaze and I felt my stomach tighten. On our way out from the class he stumbled a little and grabbed my arm to keep balance. That was when I found out I felt something more for him than just an innocent adoration.

I walked him home.

"So," I said, "did you finish the History assignment that's due on Monday?" That was a lame question to ask, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"No."

"Do you want me to come over tomorrow so we could do it together...?"

"Sure."

It turned out we didn't study the next day, we got drunk together instead. Jasper had the access to almost unlimited stash of liquor in his parents' kitchen and he made good use of it. I got home late and luckily avoided my parents as I went straight to bed, thinking about Jasper's shy smile and the way he looked at me from under his long lashes.

Next few weeks went in a haze. Sometimes I would be prepared for classes and went to school as usual, sometimes I would ditch with Jasper, usually drinking together and spending time at the movies or at his house, since his parents were rarely in during the day. I enjoyed his silent and not demanding company and his brilliant sense of humor as much as I enjoyed looking at him.

Bella saw that something was off with me and confronted me about it, when one day I got so drunk I had to hold to the walls at school.

"Edward, are you serious?" She scolded me.

"What?"

"If someone sees you like this you'll get into trouble. And he will too."

I leaned down to her, putting my arms on the wall on both sides of her face. I thought about kissing her but saw the fear in her eyes and resigned. She exhaled slowly before she moved from under my arms and ran away.

She never made another comment about my drinking at school. She just kept observing me intently and tried to keep me occupied with new books and going on bicycle trips. I knew she hated bicycle but she did it for my sake anyway.

"***"

The school year had finally ended and my parents came up with the brilliant idea I should "man up" a little and spend some time bonding with other boys from my school on a camping trip. Since going with Bella was obviously out of the question, the only person I could think of going with me was Jasper. So I told my parents as much.

And here we were - together in the middle of nowhere, in a small tent by the lake, with a lot of warm clothes, mosquitoes repellents, instant soups and more pocket money than we were able to spend.

"So," I said awkwardly, "what shall we do?"

Jasper shrugged.

"Let's go to the village and get us some beer or something," he suggested.

We purchased some bottles of vodka and beer at a store that we knew would sell us liquor without questioning our ages. We dragged them to the tent and left them in a bucket of water to cool while we went swimming in the lake.

I secretly glanced at Jasper while he was changing, admiring his lean body. We swam for a while, before lying on the grass next to the lake.

"God, these bugs are killing me." He sighed, waving off another one. I couldn't stop looking at his forearms.

"Let's go back to the tent then."

I stood up and immediately regretted my words. I don't know why, but the thought of being next to him in the small space of the tent was freaking me out. So, I didn't oppose when he suggested opening the beers right after we'd managed to prepare ourselves something to eat.

"Cheers," we said to each other in unison.

"Jinx!" Jasper laughed, giving me the full flash of his stunning white teeth and I felt heat in my chest. This was so confusing – why did he have this effect on me?

After we'd downed our beers - and a bottle of vodka - Jasper had the idiotic idea of running through the forest. We ended up scratched and bruised after having fallen down countless times and getting tangled in the branches. We were exhausted and went straight to bed, practically throwing ourselves on our sleeping bags. I even didn't have time to notice his body next to mine.

Next few days looked almost the same. We swam, we drank, sunbathed a little, did nothing. If someone could listen to us talking he would think we were brainless, since we just built nonsense conversations - me beginning with a word, him – adding another, like some stupid haiku jam sessions. We laughed at that and drank even more, getting sick when it was too much and starting over to prevent the hangover. In the night we were so wasted we just snorted in the tent, waking the next day, feeling like in the middle of an ass, with the smell coming from our bodies, the stench of alcohol mixing with sweat.

"***"

Our week was almost ending, when it started to rain so heavily we had to crawl into the tent a little earlier than usual. We were quite sober in fact. Not that we hadn't drunk that day but we didn't have our usual amount yet. We lay in the tent, waiting for the rain to stop.

I was already falling asleep when I felt his hand on my arm. I glanced at him from under my lashes but I really didn't want him to take his hand back, so I pretended I didn't feel anything. He was stroking my arm gently and scooted a little closer to me. I lay very still, afraid even to exhale too loud. I felt his breath on my face just before he pressed his chapped lips to mine.

I was scared - I was excited – I was unable to move or think straight, my mind racing with thousands questions and options. I hesitantly parted my lips for him and felt his tongue plunge inside, shyly at first but then more urgently – an unmistakable need behind it. I let him continue the kiss when he pushed me on my back and smashed me to the ground with his body.

"Aghh," I think I moaned, blushing immediately from the embarrassment.

There was no doubt the thing I could feel between my legs was his hardened dick. There was no doubt he could feel my erection as well.

I knew he wasn't just fooling around with me for a joke but I wasn't sure what to do. What if that led to something more? Was I ready for that? Would I be ever ready for that kind of thing? Was I into guys? Was I into Jasper? As I was trying to figure out what to do, he moved his hands to my tee shirt and pulled it up a little.

"Off," he said and broke the kiss for a moment.

I removed my tee shirt and he got rid of his at the same time. The feel of his bare skin on mine didn't help me focus on my doubts. It was me now who was deepening the kiss, shoving my tongue inside his mouth. He tasted like beer and mint and Jasper.

With the new resolve in me, I moved my hand down between our bodies and cupped his erection through the fabric of his jeans. He said something I couldn't make out and removed my hand with his. I flushed again, feeling really ashamed of doing that but then I felt his kisses going down my neck, to my collarbone and then to my nipple where he stopped to lick and nibble on it.

If I thought my erection was uncomfortable before, now it turned to be unbearable - almost painful. That is when I felt his fingers on my fly which he popped open without an effort, freeing my cock immediately since we couldn't be bothered with wearing underwear on the camping trip.

I observed him, lying flat, with my lids half-covering my eyes. My hands were on the ground, palms down. He was looking into my eyes, asking for permission I wasn't sure I could, or should, grant. No matter what he saw in my face he made up his mind and palmed my cock tight. My body jerked, shocked from the sudden feeling of someone else's hand on it.

Jasper licked his lips, still keeping my gaze. I said nothing as I watched him; I could only think of how gorgeous he looked with my dick in his hand. He leaned down, licked his lips again and took my cock in his mouth.

"Oh my God. Oh fuck," I gasped.

I wasn't ready for that, the feeling of warmth, wetness and tightness overriding my senses. I almost came on the spot. I don't know what he did after that but it didn't take him more than three strokes and movements of his mouth on my shaft when I was already backing up, trying to give him some warning that I was about to shoot my load in his throat. But instead of freeing me, he kept me still with his hands and body.

I couldn't delay it anymore. After all I was seventeen, horny as hell, and it was the first blow job in my life. Who was I kidding by thinking I could last longer than this?

My whole body twitched and I was coming hard in his mouth in waves of pleasure, my muscles tensing with each eruption of cum. My breath was heavy like I had just finished some marathon. I swallowed and exhaled loudly, not being able to form a coherent thought.

"Oh fuck," I repeated.

Jasper moved back to my face. He kissed me and I tasted myself on his tongue. I don't know if he spat my cum or swallowed it but I couldn't care less about it.

"That was," I mumbled into his mouth. "That was... Oh my God." I guess my brain left my body along with the sperm since I wasn't even able to finish the sentence without repeating myself.

Jasper kept kissing me while I lazily stroked his shoulders and bare back. I was slowly coming out from my state of bliss, my mind was already on full alert, panicking about what should I do next. Should I reciprocate...? I wasn't sure that I could do that. But, surely, he must have expected it after what he'd done for me? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad? He did it – so I could too... right?

I gathered my courage and started, "Jazz, do you want me to...?" I trailed off, ashamed to continue.

"No," he said. "You can touch me..." He added, almost inaudibly. "That is, if you want to. I..."

Before he could finish, I was pushing him on his back and unbuttoning his jeans. His dick was long, thick and straight, very much like mine. I closed my hand on his shaft and felt myself too harden almost instantly again.

I glanced at Jasper. He had his eyes closed, lips parted, cheeks flashed from the heat and excitement. I started to move my hand up and down, slowly stroking him. I moved my thumb along the velvet skin on the head of his cock and spread the drop of cum over it. Jasper murmured something that sounded like "so good."

I sped up my movements a bit and reached with my other hand to touch his balls. He tensed a bit and placed his hand on mine, slowing down my movements.

"I don't want to cum yet," he said.

So I kept the slower pace, playing gently with his balls with my other hand, relishing the feeling of his palm on mine. When I saw his hips move up with each stroke, seeking more friction, I knew he wouldn't last much longer, so I sped up again and gripped him even harder.

His hand fell down and he clenched his fingers on the sleeping bag. I kept my eyes on his face, almost coming with him when I saw his orgasm hit him. Just before he came, he opened his eyes and held my gaze. He was so quiet and still that if I hadn't glanced down, I wouldn't be sure he actually came. But I could see his sperm coming out of the slit in long bursts on his bare stomach. After that, he closed his eyes again and lay completely still.

"Jasper," I asked. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah," he answered.

I took my tee shirt and wiped him off with it. Jasper then curled on his side and pulled me into his arms, with my back pressed into him. I could feel his even breath on my neck.

"***"

I woke up to the sound of Jasper getting sick behind the tent. I just hoped he wasn't sick because of what we did, that it was alcohol and our bad cooking. I climbed out of the tent to see him sitting by the tree nearby, totally exhausted and pale.

I was hot, the sun was up in the sky and I felt like my brain had boiled up inside my head in that stupid small tent. I ran my hand through my greasy hair and hated the feeling. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out the first thing that came into my mind.

"How about we shave our heads bald?" I asked him, just to break the awkward silence.

"Hell, why not?" He grinned.

And just like that we were walking to the village to get scissors and razor blades. During the walk, I glanced at him a few times but I guess the tension was gone and we were back to our easy going conversations about nothing in particular.

We took our turns cutting and shaving our hair close to the skin. I enjoyed his touch on my skull, closing my eyes, allowing the feeling to spread throughout my whole body. When we were done we admired our new looks. I didn't like the shape of my head without the hair on it – thought it was bumpy and too white. I must admit that although Jasper looked beautiful without hair – his eyes showing up more, face features clearly visible and his smile even more stunning – I missed his waves and the way they felt under my fingers.

We left the whole mess on the grass by the tent and went swimming, before we came back and started another bottle of vodka. The sun was burning our skin pretty badly so we had to apply sunscreen lotion on our heads. We could easily do it ourselves but opted for doing the favor for each other instead. I think we both wanted any kind of physical contact with each other but were too scared to start it. He applied the lotion so gently, almost lovingly, his fingers lingering on my skin for a little bit too long.

I wanted to grasp his hand but before I could do that, he backed off and went into the tent. For a moment I considered going in after him but wasn't sure he wanted me to, so I made us some stew and waited for Jasper to show up. When he didn't, I glanced in the tent to see him sleeping, his lips parted, saliva flowing from them.

I crawled into the tent, lying down next to him on my sleeping bag and watching him while he slept. I know it was kind of creepy but I wanted to admire him that way – relaxed, smiling a little in his sleep. I wanted to hug him and keep him close but wasn't sure how he would react to that. So I just watched.

"***"

The next morning we were scheduled to go home but we'd overslept, awakening to the sound of cars and raised voices coming from the outside.

"Shit, get up!" I mumbled, shaking Jasper while trying in vain to clean up a little bit around us.

I exited the tent in my dirty tee-shirt and underwear to discover our very pissed parents standing by the cars. I could see that they were assessing the mess we'd made around the tent. The puke, the hair, empty bottles of vodka and beer.

My parents didn't say anything to me while we were there. My dad went back into the car to wait for us while my mom tried to help me to gather my belongings. She didn't even flinch when she'd spot some vomit or other stains.

Jasper's father, however, wasn't that understanding.

"Get in the car, you dirty little shit!" he yelled at him in front of us all.

He reached for him in the tent and pulled him up by his tee shirt. I felt anger building up in my chest and made a movement toward Jasper but my mom caught my hand.

"Don't," she warned me.

"Dad," Jasper started, but was interrupted with some more pulling by his father. He shoved Jasper roughly in the car, hitting his head with the back of his palm in the process. Jasper placed his head on his knees, covering it with his hands. Jasper's mom simply followed them in silence.

Once at home - cleaned up and well fed on homemade lasagna - I sat on the chair across from my parents while they were giving me the talk.

"Edward, I'm not even angry with you," my father started. "I'm more like… disappointed," he continued.

Wow, that hurt me even more.

"Is that really what you want out of life?" he asked. "Is getting drunk with Jasper ever going to lead you where you want to be?"

I hanged my head low – how was I supposed to answer?

"Edward," my mom said gently, "we are really not judging you. God knows we did some stupid things when we were young. I just want you to think of yourself more... to take care of yourself. I know you think that what you are doing is harmless but, well... just try to foresee the consequences of your actions."

I was playing with a loose thread on the hem of my shirt, feeling tears prickle in the corner of my eyes. God, I was such a cry-baby! I wanted to tell them I was sorry but couldn't get the words to come out.

I called Jasper later that evening to ask him how it went with his folks. He said it was okay; they would just make sure to guard their liquor cabinets more, and he was grounded for the next month.

Then Jasper whispered, "I'm not allowed to see you."

"What?" I said a little bit too loud.

"I'm not allowed to see you," he repeated and I swear I heard him restrain quiet sobs.

"For how long?" I asked, anger building up in my chest.

"At least 'till the school starts," he choked.

"But that's like more than a month!"

"Yeah, I know," he was crying now openly. I needed to calm him down.

"Jasper, don't. It'll be fine. A month is not so long and we will see each other in school, okay?"

"Okay," he said, not convinced. "I gotta go, before they'll ban me from talking to you on the phone too..."

"***"

I spent the rest of summer reading, watching even more movies than before, trying to learn to play the piano, and going on bicycle trips with Bella. But no matter what I did I couldn't stop thinking about Jasper and our night in the tent. I missed him so much. He didn't call me again and didn't answer my calls. I had no idea what was going on.

When the school year began, I was eager to see Jasper, but something had changed between us during that last month. I was focused on my duties, taking up some extra classes after school to learn Chemistry, Biology and Physics for my medical school exams next year. It was hard and I had to start early if I wanted to even think about getting accepted. My parents were spending a lot of their money on that and I couldn't disappoint them again. Any down time I had I spent with Bella.

I didn't drink anymore, especially while in school, but I could see Jasper still did. We didn't have any classes together that semester, so I could see him only briefly during the breaks and sometimes at lunch. But since Jasper tended to avoid me, I ate with Bella. I knew from his classmates that Jasper was missing more and more classes. I caught him once next to the lockers and confronted him on his drinking but found out he wasn't drunk. He was high instead. I knew the look; I didn't have to ask.

"Jasper," I started.

"What?" He glared at me.

"What are you on?"

"What do you care?" He spat.

"You know I care." I tried to reason with him.

"No, I don't." He closed his locker and walked pass me, bumping me with his shoulder.

"***"

About a month later we were all coming back from a late event, it was the eighteenth birthday of one of our classmates. Practically everyone from the school was present. As usual, someone managed to sneak in some liquor and we were all quite wasted by the end of the night. We were heading back with Bella when we spotted Jasper lying on the ground next to the bus stop. We got him up and managed to put him on the bus with us. I stayed with him at the back, holding him in my arms to prevent him from falling down.

"I'm sorry," he said. I could feel his tears on my neck.

"Shh, it's okay," I assured him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over.

I didn't know what to do so I just hold him tight and stroked his hair. I glanced over his shoulder at Bella to see her studying us intently. I saw a flicker of understanding pass through her eyes before she averted her gaze. I could practically see the wheels turning in her head. However if she noticed anything she kept it to herself.

I made sure Jasper got home safely but didn't risk meeting his parents while he was in a state like that – for sure, they would have blamed me for that.

The next day, I waited outside the school for him, but he didn't show up. Nor the next day or the day after that. I called him a few times but he didn't answer. I asked around the school about him but no one knew anything. Finally, I decided to call his parents at the house.

"Hello, this is Edward. Can I speak to Jasper, please?"

"Oh, hi Edward," his mother sounded surprised to hear me. "Actually Jasper is sleeping. He's got some flu and doesn't feel well. I think he won't be coming back to school before the next week."

"Oh, okay," I said. "Okay, so I'll see him then. Thank you."

But he wasn't back next week and I started to get really worried about him. There wasn't much I could do though. So I focused on my schoolwork again, went to town to buy some new CD's, hung out with Bella more.

"***"

Since Bella's father was having a lot of night shifts that time, and my parents focused on my little sister's school problems and let me do whatever I pleased, I spent a lot of evenings at her place.

During one of our late night movie sessions at her place, we fooled around a little – some kisses, a little bit of groping. For me, it was just fun – experimenting - no harm in that. But I suspected Bella wanted something more out of our relationship. I tried to wrap my mind around the thought of me and her together but I just couldn't do it.

However, that wouldn't stop me from ravishing her mouth while we were together on her couch. I felt her hand reach down to my pants, touching my already stiff cock. I didn't move to stop her.

"Do you want me to...?" She trailed off.

"I don't know... Do you want to?" I asked her.

"Yes," she whispered.

She lowered herself to her knees in front of me and struggled with my zipper. I helped her free me and pushed my pants and underwear below my hips to give her better access. She placed her small hand on me and wrapped her fingers around my shaft. She took me in her mouth and started moving her hand along with her mouth. It felt fucking good but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling with Jasper.

Before I knew it, I was thrusting in her mouth, trying to pay attention to not push it too far.

"I'm gonna cum," I warned her.

She didn't stop. She sucked and swallowed, before releasing me and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. We sat awkwardly glancing at each other, my cock limp and sticky with the remains of cum and saliva.

"Do you want me to get you off as well?" I asked her.

"What? No," she said. "I don't want you to do anything."

I didn't know what she expected from me. She looked kind of sad.

"Bella, I'm sorry," I said, feeling like a douche. I really didn't want to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt anyone. To my defense I wasn't doing it deliberately, it just happened that way.

"It's nothing. I'm okay," she said. But I could see she wasn't.

"Do you want me to go?" I offered.

"No, let's just watch a movie or something."

We were watching some stupid comedy when we were interrupted by a knock on the door. Bella went to answer and to my surprise Mike from our school escorted totally wasted and quite bloodied Jasper. I felt like the earth was being taken from under my feet.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Bella exclaimed.

"He scratched himself a little when he fell. He's pretty much drunk as you see," Mike explained. "I couldn't take him to his house, and I remembered you said Charlie worked today so I thought I come by to your place to clean him up. Is that okay?"

"Yes, yes, come on in. Can you take him to the bathroom?" Bella was in a full emergency mode as she followed them up the stairs. Mike emerged from the bathroom just a few moments later and sat with me on the couch.

"So," he began, "what are you up to, guys? We've just been wandering around with Jasper, ya know, popped a few pills, drank some. But then Jasper had had too much and now he looks like this!" He finished lightly.

I wanted to beat that shit-eating grin out of his face. I went upstairs. I heard some muffled noises coming from the bathroom and I peaked inside. I saw Jasper sitting on the edge of the bathtub while Bella wrapped the last pieces of gauze on his hands and forehead. He looked so broken.

He whispered, "I'm sorry Bella, I'm sorry. Thank you. You are a beautiful person, you know?"

He took her hand in his and kissed her palm.

Bella glanced at me over his head and mouthed "Get out" at me. So I went back downstairs.

Bella and Jasper joined us after a longer while and she made him sit on the couch next to me while she fetched him some tea. We all watched the remaining part of the movie and then went off to our homes. Mike accompanied Jasper so I went to my place alone.

After that night, I tried to talk to Jasper but it wasn't easy. He was almost never at school and if he was, he was not in a state to talk. Eventually he stopped attending it altogether. I went to his home once; his mother answered the door. She looked awful, her face grey, eyes bloodshed like she'd been crying for hours.

"Is Jasper home?" I asked, knowing full well that he wasn't.

"No, I don't know where he is," she said. "If you see him, please tell him to come home, or at least to eat something."

Suddenly she totally broke down and started crying. "We don't know what to do anymore. We tried everything; we asked, we shouted, we hid his clothes, made sure he didn't have the money, but nothing worked. I can't stand seeing him like this. He's my baby boy and his killing himself with it."

She wiped away the tears. "I'm sorry, Edward. Just please, if you see him, tell him to come home, okay?"

After that, I saw him in town for a few times but he was never alone, always with his new "friends" and always averted his eyes when he spotted me, pretending he didn't know me, even if I shouted to him.

"***"

After graduation, I totally lost track of Jasper and anyone from high school for that matter. During the first semester at college, I kept in touch with Bella a little, but it was sporadic. We only exchanged some e-mails and phone calls. On my breaks, I usually did some internships so I was almost never home.

I was lost as to my emotions and preferences. The night with Jasper messed with my mind. I couldn't tell if I wanted men or women. I dated some girls and found them attractive and arousing. I had sex with them and never even once did the image of another, firmer and broader body interrupt my mind while I was with them. But whenever I was alone, getting myself off in the shower, it was always Jasper that came into my mind. His tanned arms on my chest, his cock twitching and erupting cum on his stomach.

I tried to go out with a man once. I met him in a pub, we started talking and he placed his hand on mine. One thing led to another. Before I knew it I was at his place, and he was shoving his tongue down my throat. My dick liked it very much but I wasn't convinced. He asked me whether I was a top or a bottom and I was unable to answer that question.

"Neither, I guess." I shrugged.

"Do you mean, you...?

"Yeah, I don't know." I gathered my belongings and left, feeling disgusted with myself.

Before my last year in med school, I came back to the town for a week of summer holidays and found out Bella was home as well, visiting her dad. We went out for a coffee together, started talking about the old times and people we knew. Somehow our conversation went to Jasper and Bella started fidgeting.

"What?" I asked, nervous.

"You know he did drugs, right?" She asked me.

"Yeah," I admitted.

"I saw him two or three times in town. On the streets, I mean. The last time he was just outside local K-Mart, asking strangers for money. He claimed it was for his dog, which he held on a leash with him. He didn't recognize me at first but then I told him who I was and he was all smiles. I was shocked to see his teeth though. He used to have this most amazing smile, you remember?"

Oh yes, I remembered it very well. The last time I saw him smile at me, I was back for just a few days and was coming home from a late meeting. The streetlights were lighting up already. Suddenly I saw it – the familiar mop of dirty blond hair.

"Hey man, ya got a cigarette?" He asked.

"Jasper?" I gasped.

"Yeah," he said and looked up at me. He was high and it took him some time before he recognized me. "Oh, hi Edward! How are you? You look good."

"I'm okay. Just in town for a few days, catching up with my folks."

"Oh, good, good," he said absentmindedly. "So do you have any?"

"What?" I asked, lost.

"Cigarettes?" He was looking at me expectantly.

"No, sorry," I said.

"Well, that's a shame. I gotta go. Gotta hook up sometime, remember the ol'times. Take care!" He said, shooting me his gorgeous smile.

With that he was off, joining some guys on the other side of the street. I stood breathless with his smile forever imprinted in my memory.

"You were saying?" I asked Bella.

"He looked so bad, you know," she continued. "He asked me about our other friends but wasn't listening to me really. But when I mentioned you his face lit up, and he asked me to say 'hi' from him and tell you he was sorry. But then he was back to this searching look on his face, I could see he was assessing if I had anything which would be useful to him. He asked me if I had five dollars. I hated giving him the money which I knew would go for drugs but didn't know what to do. I mean, it was _Jasper_. So I shoved a fifty in his hand, gave him apples I had in my bag and asked him if I could help him in any other way. He said no and as I was in a hurry, I went my way. I haven't seen him since."

I too never saw him nor heard of him again. But whenever I saw familiar blond waves, my heart stopped and I prayed it was him. I could still see his dimpled smile, the look in his eyes when we held each other in the tent. I could feel the warmth of his body and light touch of his chapped lips on mine. And I just hoped that he was out there somewhere, off the streets, healthy and happy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

Okay, I know the story might be cliché but it's because most part of it is based on the real events and characters. I wrote it for all the lost friends from my high school, which appear to be so many I lost count :( This is especially for J., hope he lives and is off the streets, he was a sweet boy.


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